What I Hate About Apple

Filed under: , by: Jimmy the Greek

The lifestyle. I'm guilty of this too. I bought a black MacBook and all of a sudden I was overcome with a sense of righteousness and entitlement. I became so smug that any time I had to do something computery I'd say "Oh I'll check into that once I get back to my Mac," or "I can do that on my Mac, no problem." It also filled me with a strange urge to sit in a poorly lit coffee shop all day, wearing sunglasses and a beret, drinking chai, while spamming the appleinsider.com forums with my views on the latest rumored Apple whatever. It took about 6 months to realize I'd become a worse know it all prick, if that's possible, and have since tried to repent by recommending PCs.

Incompatibility. I have a Motorola phone that acts as my MP3 player, ROKR Z6m if you're curious, and sure as shit my Mac won't recognize it. I took the time to transfer all of my CDs, about 200 of them, to my computer so when I was working I could access my entire library and not just a CD at a time. Unless I restart my computer in Windows, I have to transfer all the songs via Bluetooth. Do you know how long it takes to transfer 2 GB worth of information with Bluetooth? I don't either because I backed up my iTunes library on DVD and restored it in Windows so I could do it over USB with Windows Explorer.

It's not just my phone that's not recognized, say for instance a hot new computer game just came out, or software, and you want to play it. Well fuck you, you have to wait at least a year before you can play it on Mac OSX or cough up $200 for Windows.

Boot camp. It goes without saying that Windows and Mac OSX don't play well together. FAT32/64 and NTFS are like two people who should be friends because they're so much alike, but hate each other for the same reason. There are programs out there that will overcome this stigma so it isn't really that big of an issue. What is a big abscessed infected problem is Airport.

I, like the majority of techies, prefer to connect to everything wirelessly. Specifically the Internet. In Mac OSX I have no problem connecting and staying online. In Windows, well that's a different story. After you run the drivers disc Boot Camp spits out, everything works the way it should, right? Wrong! Sure the iSight works now that Boot Camp has long since left beta, and Airport works the majority of the time. The key word being "majority." I do most of my programming in Windows and I do most of my file transfers with FTP. So I have a couple hundred MBs I need to transfer to my site, or something as simple as a single page. The crucial second Airport frequently disconnects is enough to freeze Dreamweaver during a save, drop my mass transfer in the middle, or lose my Internet radio station connection. Maybe there's a fix for this out there that I haven't found, and if there is, for the love of God tell me.

The iPhone and iPod. Sure they're neat little toys but this goes back to the lifestyle complaint. Maybe it's me but I don't think technology should be a fashion trend. "Oh look, I love that Gucci shirt." Should not equate to "Oh look, I love that iPhone." Every iPhone and iPod owner I've ever met has made it a point to exaggerate their usage in public places. Sitting waiting for a meal at a restaurant. "You can just set my plate off to the side. I've got to finish using my iPhone, because I'm obviously typing an email so... I'm important." Walking down the street. "I'm sorry I can't hear you because I have my white ear buds on so I must be listening to music and better than you."

Branding with an 'i'. I hate branding trends. Another example is inventing a compound word but then capitalizing the second word like the English language needs to be more bastardized. Then insulting it further by slapping a little 'R' or 'TM' after it. What exactly does the little 'i' stand for? Incompatible? Insolent? Intelligent? It's a little 'i' though so, partially incompatible, slightly insolent, kind of intelligent?

Simplicity. I rarely recommend people get a Mac. I'll only do this to the less than advanced computer users in my family who constantly bug me when they download a virus or fuck up their computer by playing solitaire and downloading half the shit on the Internet. If I were a professional computer repairman I would never recommend it. These stupid computer users are the cash cow whose teets have been suckled to a dried, cracked, hardened state. "What do you mean I should have upgraded my anti-virus when it said it expired?" Nothing, I mean nothing by it at all. That will cost $100 for me to restore your computer and I'll see you again in six months, be sure to tell your friends.

Simplicity. You might be saying "but Jimmy, I see simplicity in the last header." That's a good observation, now keep it to yourself. There are no unrecognizable multi-pinned connections on the back of a Mac. Nothing really on the exterior to bewilder the common user. However, to connect a second monitor to your computer you need to buy an adapter. To connect a pair of headphones to the iPhone that aren't manufactured by Apple you have to buy an adapter. To connect an SD card to your Mac, can you guess, you have to buy an adapter.

What if you want a better video card? You can't have one. Let's put it this way, Apple has taken the ability to upgrade an existing system and shoved it in and out of your ass repeatedly. There may be a handful of USB and Firewire ports, and a mini DVI slot, but if you want to advance your hardware or modify it, you're shit out of luck unless you go through Apple first. You get all these restrictions at a greater cost than if you bought a more compatible PC of equal or greater power.

IBM to Intel. Technically this was a good thing. Finally the Mac architecture would recognize the same assembly as the rest of the world's computers, though getting the operating system to play nicely will never happen. This may have happened a while ago but we're still in the middle of the transition. Most Mac programs have to be written with the PPC and Intel chips in mind. You have to either write it twice, or write it so it can install on both. Macs have a drag and drop install interface but in the likely event you need to uninstall a program, you bet your ass there's going to be a bunch of clutter left under the hood.

Apple owners suck. I'm pointing at all of you wannabe techies who tote around your MacBooks just so you can use them in public. I'm pointing at you iPhone and iPod owners who have a false sense of superiority because you bought overpriced incompatible hardware. I'm pointing... four fucking fingers right back at myself, damn.

11 comments:

On September 19, 2008 at 12:40 PM , JimmyJames70 said...

So much hate, so little time...

Let me add to the hate of iTunes and their constant upgrades: All I want to do is buy one stupid song and I have go through 20 minutes of downloads, installs, reboots...

 
On September 19, 2008 at 1:11 PM , Jimmy the Greek said...

one of the many itunes updates actually killed my macbook. the only thing i could do was restore it

 
On September 19, 2008 at 2:56 PM , swag said...

I love my MacBook Pro, but I have avoided iTunes, the iPhone, and iPods like the plague.

So you could say it's a selective love/hate relationship for me.

 
On September 19, 2008 at 4:00 PM , Anonymous said...

I feel the same way. Read my blog entry about my Mac experience here:

http://www.ps3forums.com/blog.php?b=211

Oh, and this is coming from someone who makes a living as a graphic designer. ;)

 
On September 19, 2008 at 4:30 PM , moebius said...

Hey, try Linux if you don't like M$ or Apple.

 
On September 19, 2008 at 5:20 PM , Allen said...

^^^^Agreed! Its a nice alternative, you sound even more like a "techie" for using it, and even understanding whats going on, and if so inclined, you can write / modify apps yourself!

 
On September 19, 2008 at 8:33 PM , Anonymous said...

macs are crap. i can't believe how many people believe the hype. screw apple.

 
On September 20, 2008 at 12:22 AM , Caid said...

I have an iPhone and it helps me to keep connected to my iFriends and iFamily. i Don't know what i would do with my iSelf if I didn't ihave imy iPhone.

Just kidding. I like my iphone, I even thought about getting a mac. Then I thought about all the times my friends with macs (very few in fact) told me they couldn't play the same games as me due to the fact that they're just not available on the mac OS. Sure I could run XP... Then again, for half the price of a mac, I could just use a PC and run XP or Vista.

I am sticking with Windows for the simple fact that it works (small problems aside of course).

Caid.

 
On September 20, 2008 at 9:18 PM , Anonymous said...

As a former Mac Genius, I can only say one thing: Apple products are way overpriced for what they're worth. Let's not forget the cost of repairs if you aren't covered by AppleCare.

People get fooled by the nice sleek gui that OS X shelves out and the shiny peripherals that they can finger-fuck to their hearts content. Yes, it's virus-free because of it's BSD-based filesystem/structure... but man, wait till you logicboard fries. You're gonna wish you had gone PC. I love Macs for one reason: productivity for my work. It offers essential applications for my day-to-day work-based tasks. But as anything else, Apple can take their overpriced machines and shove the up their asses.

 
On October 8, 2008 at 7:16 AM , SaiyanFury said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
On October 8, 2008 at 7:17 AM , SaiyanFury said...

I agree about the Apple followers. I don't understand what the hype is all about. I use a 4GB Sandisk Sansa for my MP3 player and it's compatible with everything. My PC is Windows XP based and I don't use iTunes. I can put on my MP3 player whatever I want. I can also change out my hardware for something better if I want it. You can't do that on a Mac. I've been told that if you want to upgrade your HDD or memory on an iMac yourself, that you don't void your warranty. While I'm not certain on this, with Apple's lockout policy it sounds to me like you would void your delicate warranty.

iMacs are repeatedly touted as great multimedia machines. That's fine, but seeing the performance specs of iMac monitors, I must disagree. The average iMac monitor displays an average contrast ratio of 700:1. Pretty sad comparing it to higher end PC monitors like mine that have a contrast ratio of 3000:1. Mine is a 22 inch Samsung with true colour display and it works very well. On top of not using a Mac, if a piece of hardware screws up in my PC I can replace it relatively cheap. The same cannot be said of Mac users. iMacs aren't bad computers, but the limits placed on users is pathetic. Not to mention, if something goes wrong with a Mac, you're forced to send it back to Apple for service. On a PC you have a better warranty, as well as the option of opting for something better.